PLEASE READ THESE TERMS:[#o1] W E L C O M E ! [#o2] I`m the owner here . [#o3] No judging here [#o5] Judge me if you know me well [#o4] Don`t like it? go press alt+F4 The Little Girl♥ P A T R I C I A - 方 贤 婷 First cried on 29 January 1996 ♥ Dance I M P E R F E C T ♥ (Ko)Rilakkuma Indo-Chinese!(: 
Patricia Ana  Create Your Badge Her Wishes♥ Updated on o1.o1.13 • Happiness Sweet Escapes♥ ALIENS♥ --------------------------------- Wei Kang ShanShan Terence Dearest♥ --------------------------------- Amelia Liz ; PerverticCicak Sab ; Mesum-Twinny Syazwan ; Bestfriend Vanessa Vivian ; Nerdie NavalBase; --------------------------------- Alexis Brandon ; Blender Fawwaz ; FawyBotakB Hamizah HuatKit ; AhPek Katherine Patricia ; Halim Mabel ; AhMamaa Xinyi YuXuan ; AhJie Others; --------------------------------- Cindy ; Shinzuii Laurentia Read more♥ Catching up session. A best friend. Tearing apart. Trust and Fear Hurt's effects. The point where I hate my life. A lot. Stay away. A total mess. Those trusts. Let's just..drift apart.
January 2012 |
Damaged and Drained, Emotionally.
Sunday, January 13, 2013 Sunday, January 13, 2013  It is funny how words can hurt you pretty bad. At times, people accidentally said out words that they did not really mean it. Who does not hate having fragile heart. Who likes being hurt. No one will understand exactly how one's feeling really is. At first, all those questions come filling my head. Where did it all go wrong? What did I do wrong? How? Why? I can't get the answers yet. Until now.  I was being told that there will be less communication and since you have a reasonable reason, I can accept that. But you did not mention that you will change the way you talk.  From the start, we have agreed to just remain as friends, and honestly, I am not foolish enough to be in a relationship where you can only see each other once a year or maybe once in two years. It will take a hell of trusts, commitments, and dedications. I don't mind to be just in a flirtationship, and not an official relationship. Not only that I'm ready for an official relationship, my parents may not give their approvals yet. You have no idea how relieved I get seeing my parents are actually okay with you and not prevent me from interacting with you. But, even if you wanted to see me again, you know what, never mind. I don't want you to be wanting to see me just because you feel forced. Honestly, I will only meet you if you really want to, by your own will.  You told me about how you felt seeing those pictures, but have you ever asked like why did I end up being close with them. DID YOU EVEN MAKE ANY EFFORT TO KNOW MORE OF MY STORIES? NO. I don't see any efforts. I, at least, took an effort to ask you about your stories, but it was you, who decided to keep it shut. I do not mean to force you to talk it out if you are not comfortable in doing so. I just wanted to know you better. And it is kind of sad seeing that you are not even interested in knowing it. Maybe all you really do is just assuming. You got lost in your own thinkings and assumptions!  Do you even try to understand me, getting to know me better? It does not seem so. I was kinda hoping you would understand what type of girl I am. You assume about those people who I was chatting with, don't you know that some of 'em are just the ones that have been there for me? I do not have feelings for them, and they did not have feelings for me. You saw those, do you even bother to ask? No, and once again, you assume. Let me get this straight, I don't introduce just anyone to my family. I reply chats differently to different people. I know my limit if I were in a relationship. If you were to tell me how you felt, considering our mutual feelings, I would listen to you. I don't entertain the ones I do not care about especially if they have feelings for me because I don't want to give false hopes. You should know by then how you are actually not just anyone through the way I chatted and replied your chat. I do not know if it is not too late to be like before. When people are hurt, it's like those scars. Different people have different skins, just like different people have different strength and hearts. Some of them got rid of the scars pretty quickly, while others take time to get rid of those. Sometimes, some people do not have to be in an official r/s to have those special rights. With both side's agreements, special rights can be made.  But you know what, I'm getting over this. If we are really not meant to be, then so be it. You can find another girl, and I will find another boy. If you still have some feelings for your ex, even just a little or maybe more, why don't you just get back together and be happy as I am currently learning how to let go. I am at least making the efforts, telling you to make Skype, LINE, or Whatsapp, just to keep in touch. But if you are not willing to, it is fine with me too. My friends told me to get over this because you do not seem to be serious with me. Well, at one point, you seemed like you are actually being serious. But at another point, you don't. Yes, it is confusing for me. But it is fine, with all these, I know what I am going to do. But when the time's up. Please do not regret all these decisions you made. People say, "When there is a will, there is a way." Up until now, this quote always gives me empty and false hopes. It made me realize, that some people do not have the will to do so.  
p.s - honestly, all i really want is for us to
go back to the way we used to be,
how we communicate with all the
cute sweet texts, jokes, and laughters,
but honestly, i am not that stupid
to not understand that
it is really hard to go back
to the way we used to be.
regardless of how happy i was before.
so, even though it was just a short while,
thank you for making me happy.
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