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Patricia Ana  Create Your Badge Her Wishes♥ Updated on o1.o1.13 • Happiness Sweet Escapes♥ ALIENS♥ --------------------------------- Wei Kang ShanShan Terence Dearest♥ --------------------------------- Amelia Liz ; PerverticCicak Sab ; Mesum-Twinny Syazwan ; Bestfriend Vanessa Vivian ; Nerdie NavalBase; --------------------------------- Alexis Brandon ; Blender Fawwaz ; FawyBotakB Hamizah HuatKit ; AhPek Katherine Patricia ; Halim Mabel ; AhMamaa Xinyi YuXuan ; AhJie Others; --------------------------------- Cindy ; Shinzuii Laurentia Read more♥ Happiness. One and only. I miss you. Interphase: Denial and Acceptance. To the guy who's gone great lengths for me. When will it be good enough? Judgmental freaks. Just wish to be "normal". Happy ending? Don't Leave
January 2012 |
That pain.
Sunday, June 28, 2015 Sunday, June 28, 2015  Is it a bad thing to fall in love too deep with someone? All I know is that you made me wanna change, you made me wanna fall in love deeper with you. But I did not see how much pain I would be going through. Back then, I realized I had my own issues; commitment and trust issues. When I realized things are going further and getting more serious, regardless how much I wanted serious relationships, I chose to back off and give up on the relationship. I found little tiny mistakes on the relationship and could not let it go - that ended the relationship. It was not that hard on me. I was sad but I was ready to let go. But with you, I did not realize how much pain I am going through. I did not know that you could be hurt from loving someone when the other person claimed to love you back. All the pain came from the insecurities mainly. It hurts seeing myself not getting the amount of attention I wanted. I am trying to understand you are not in your best self currently but what I would like you to know is, you're not the only one hurting. You're not the only one missing someone, you're not the only one being sad. I am feeling it too, maybe I just don't say it or express it as much as you. But I really hoped you would feel it, somehow. You may think I get jealous way too easy, that's because I am insecure. You can see how I get mad pretty easily from all the jokes, that's again from my insecurities. You know how low my self-esteem is, that's why sometimes I take jokes too seriously. I just can't help it. I wish you could understand more instead of complaining about it. I wish you would try to make me feel more secure with you. Things are hard enough for me recently without you adding to my problems. I don't really need you to make the wounds deeper. I really need you to help heal the wound instead.  If only you knew how much I've cried because of you. I knew that if you'd knew, you'd be feeling so guilty and I do not want that. Yes, you make me happy, but you are making me sad sometimes. I know you told me you would like to leave if you are only making me sad and unhappy but what if I told you I am.. Would you just leave right away, or would you try harder first? You told me you won't give up until one of us decided to give up regardless what the situation is. But I wonder, would you stay with someone who can be emotionally unstable at times? Would you get sick of trying to convince someone due to their insecurities? After you get to see all the flaws, would you still stay? Sometimes you made me want to give up, but maybe I love you enough to not wanting to lose you.  |