You kept telling me it's gonna be fine and that I should not think so much. Well, you know what, those are easier said than done. Everything was exquisitely amazing until it all tumbles down. How am I supposed to feel? I have been tearing up every time I think of the future, what will happen if it turns out negatively.

I am not dumb, dear. I am fully aware that it is just a 40% rate. It's not really a good percentage. Why don't you be in my shoes? Imagine you are me and I am you. How would you feel knowing when I'm gone, I'll be totally out of this world? It's better if you leave but at least maybe once I'll bump into you in the street. This kind of farewell is gonna be cruel.

This story feels like a movie. I want those fairy tales but I forgot to mention those that have happy endings, not sad endings. I can't imagine myself, one day, waking up, realizing you're gone, for good. With all the memories haunt me down, I have no idea what I will become. What am I gonna do? Am I supposed to treat things like as if nothing happens? Replying to a delusional text of yours? Visit you once in awhile even if you're not there anymore? I know it's only been few months but I swear it's surprising to think back how many memories we share and the laughters we have. 

It would be a total waste to just throw all those away.

So, please be fine, be okay. If the report is bad, please be strong enough to survive in a 40% rate. I'm begging you. Even if we have to part, let me save my pride and leave you, it's not supposed to be you leaving me, jerk!

Furthermore, did you forget our things-to-do bucket? We still have way more to go. It was OUR idea so, WE are supposed to cross 'em out one by one..